Hey y'all,
Sooooo, the master cleanse didn't last one day. I started having migraines and I was just feeling really really bad. I felt like I was doing it for the wrong reasons and I need to again, re-evaluate my motivations. So what do I mean by that? I was using the master cleanse and what it had done for others as a "magic bullet" of sorts. I had visions of being slim and trim in 10 days. and somehow feeling better about my self, my body and my life, basically over night. I know now that that was not the approach that would get me the results I need. I really have some work I need to do on a different level. I need to accept myself just as I am because until I can do that nothing else will help. I really think that my tubal ligation has something to do with it. I have gained more weight in the last 6 years since I had my tubes tied, than I had in all my pregnancies... combined. I think I have been in a mini depression since i had that done. I feel like my lack of fertility has had a mental affect on me, I believe this is a part of the symptoms of PTLS, weight gain as well as depression. So, I think I am just going to try to make some lifestyle changes and work on my body from my head down. I need to be in a better place in my own self image before i can expect weight loss to make me feel better. I do plan on going to the doctor and getting an all around check up and addressing any health concerns my weight gain may have caused, or be caused by. So yeah I will be seeing a midwife at the clinic I usually go to. My usual Obgyn has relocated out of town and I really want to deliver VBA4C once I become pregnant again, so I feel like my chances would be better with a midwife so I am going to start my search there. This appt is on Monday so I will be updating on that day what I thought of her. So I will talk to you later,
Keep Dreaming
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