Master Cleanse day 1

So this morning I woke up really early and after laying there tossing and turning unable to go back to sleep, my thoughts turned to the lemons that have been sitting up on top of the fridge for the last few days. I had bought the ingredients for the master cleanse about a week ago and I was all geared up to begin the next day and for some reason. I just haven't... Once again I think fear has crept into another area of my life and has camped out right in between me and progress. My current weight is 214 lbs and I really want to loose some weight. I would love to be 150 but that goal seems so large and so far out of reach. I have seen sop many people have success with the master cleanse and have wanted to try it out for a while but I am afraid. I am afraid of being hungry, I am afraid of failing. I am afraid that it wont work, or that it will work and somehow I will sabotage my own efforts and gain the weight back. I am afraid of how I might feel if I cut myself off from the one thing I can always count on to make me feel better.... food. Dang, that sounds really bad. But I promised myself I would be real with myself and that's just the ugly truth of the matter. I am afraid of not having food. I eat emotionally and out of habit and on impulse. I eat to soothe my stress and also to calm me. So what this really means is I will have to find a different source to tap into. I don't trust myself. i don't think I am strong enough to "lean on my own understanding", and I don't think my husband is qualified for the task as I have gotten to being a pro at convincing him that I am fine when I am not.
 So I will be leaning totally on God for my strength to get through this cleanse. Hopefully some of you all can encourage me as well. You can also follow my progress on my YouTube channel  https://www.youtube.com/user/Goines888

I look forward to bringing you updates on my progress. I am so excited. This is just another step towards my goal. I ask myself, how bad do you want it, all the time. Like it is all within my grasp, everything I want. I just have to have a little faith and then act according to that faith. If I believe I can lose the weight but don't make any changes or take any steps that what difference doe it make what I believe.... It's useless. Like a man who would starve to death at the lake,whilst holding a fishing pole....a because he doubted that he would actually be able to catch anything.... He was right. I don't want to live like that. Missing out on the fullness of life because I am too scared to try ,too scared to fail. So this is it, Day one...